The result is that the trip #1 bloggers stories are very short, patchy and incoherent. I've gone back and read my entries during that trip and have thought to myself: "That's it?!? That's all I came up with?"
So I've decided to use the next few blog entries to attempt to re-document our Russian Adoption adventure trip #1.
Meeting Zac:
We were sitting in the orphanage director's office along with D&A. Things quickly grew quiet and tense. Not tense in an uncomfortable way. Not tense in an angry way. Just tense because we knew that in the next minute or two we were going to meet our son. This little stranger from a far off land was just about to become OUR SON.
The director called the other couple first. (Dang it!) Katie and I were escorted into an unused room. We looked around and were a little distrubed to see 3 little examination beds as well as high-tech "medical devices for the children". (See below)
No need to comment. Finally, Katie and I were called in. We walked in, held hands, and got big goofy grins on our faces. The director pulled out his picture and we were immediately in love. This kid has the most amazing eyes. (You'll see 'em eventually. You really will!) The director went on to say that Pasha is very smart. The smartest kid in his group. (Does she say this everytime? We'll never know...) BUT, she went on to say, he definitely has an opinion. He knows what he wants and he'll let you know when he doesn't get it. Hmmmm.... I thought to myself. He sounds like ANY kid. And myself for that matter.
She disclosed more about his medical history and then it was time to go see him. We walked up the stairs and poked our faces through the door into his room. I saw him and immediately recognized his face. He was standing up and reaching into a big tub of what looked like duplo blocks. He pulled out two at a time and was stacking them together. (Good skills, I thought to myself)
An orphanage worker called out his name in a motherly way. "PAAASHAAA".
He looked up from what he was doing and shot her a big smile. His smile was subtle. He appears to have a smile that doesn't reveal his teeth. But what is revealed is his electric eyes. He squinted a little during this smile and this caused a jewel-like sparkle to relect off of the entire room. (Little did we know, but this would be the last smile that we would see from him for most of the rest of the trip)
The worker went on to say something to the effect of "Your mama and papa are here." (I'm thinking it was in Russia, but at this point my head was completely spinning). Pasha took one look and us and burst into tears. I honestly wasn't disappointed, nor was I surprised. The tough part was that all the caregivers took it upon themselves to try to sooth his emotions.
Now anyone with kids knows that when multiple adults get involved with a crying kid, it only makes things worse. Each adult starts singing AND shooshing AND calling out his name AND.... AND.... AND. It's moments like these that the mom needs to bust into the scene, pick up her son and quietly rock him back and forth. The problem was.... well..... you know.
So we just sat there and watched him freak.
Fortunately, this didn't last too long. One of the workers sat him down on the floor and then rolled a ball to him. He rolled it back to her.
She rolled it to me.
I rolled it to him.
He rolled it to..... her. (dang it!)
She rolled it to me.
I rolled it to him.
He rolled it to..... her again! (Dang it again!)
This went on for a while. But each time he seemed to fear me a little less and a little less.
I wasn't really trying to push things. I figured, "I'm adopting this child. He's going to be my son for the rest of eternity. I need not fully bond with him in the first 10 minutes."
In full truth, there really wasn't a lot of bonding going on during my first few days with Hallie or Jake either. (Unless you considering changing a diaper full of meconium a "bonding moment")
So there you have it! A detailed account of the first moments with Zac. Not a fairy tale, but it rarely is. If anything, stranger anxiety is a GOOD thing. A very good thing. He knows who he trusts. He knows who he doesn't trust. This only makes him normal.
Next story: Play time came to an end and it was time for.... EATING!
4 comments:
What a great idea - I loved reading about your first moments with Zac. Looking forward to more accounts and memories of the days you first met your young son.
Thanks for sharing! It's been hard to catch up on our posting from Trip #1. We didn't have internet access in our region, and then when we did in Moscow it was like "where do I start?". It's such a mindblowing / out of body experience sort of things it's hard for me to believe we were really there. But I do have pics, video and a sick husband to prove it. LOL.
There is a couple here now having their first meetings and the mama is so heartbroken because their son will play with her husband but wants nothing to do with her (as she tells it). I feel so bad for her. If only she could have your great perspective.
Ryan, I do so hope Zac shares your sense of humor. And I do so wish he was here. Soon, soon, soon! Grammy
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