Never give up

On the coat tails of my "this sucks" post from yesterday, I'd like to express these thoughts today:

It seems as if many of my friends and aquaintences have recently commented on how long and difficult our adoption appears to be.  From their perspective, we have been going at this for over a year and nothing has happened.  On the surface, this may be true, but I'm telling you that within myself, a tremendous amount has been accomplished.

Indeed, life is a series of chapters and experiences.  While adoption may not exactly be the quickest and easiest way to have a baby, it is certainly the most "soul building" thing I've ever done.  This last year has been one of the most emotional years I've been through so far.  It would be easy to conclude that an "emotional year" must have been a bad thing.  

"Really?" I ask.  Is the object of life to avoid as much emotion as possible?  Should we go through our days trying to prevent any and all feelings of sadness?  Are any "bad vibes" seen as something to avoid?  Is life supposed to be one big continuous feeling of happiness and bliss?  I'm thinking we'd be missing something if that were the case.  

I'm not, for one moment, ever going to regret this experience.   After experiencing the best year of my life, I'm here to declare that adoption is a blessing.  Some of you may be adopting out of "need".  You may feel like you've missed out.  Please don't.  I think that it's the other way around.  

My message goes out to ANYONE who has ever considered adoption:  Do it.  Do not be afraid.  Do not worry.  It's a crazy & wild adventure and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Gettin there

Is it just me, or is that countdown clock actually getting somewhere?

We're cruising through the 40's and I'm thinking to myself:

1. We've got about 6 1/2 weeks left until he's off the databank. I almost get excited and then I remember that they originally told us that it would be 6 weeks in between our 2 trips. Holy smokes! This wait has been FOREVER. I know that I've vowed to stay positive during this whole thing, but may I be candid for a second? This wait has really sucked! There. I said it. Now I feel better.

2. This thing is getting real. We're actually going to be adopting Zac soon! Katie and I joke that "he's going to be harder to parent once he comes home". Right now, he just sits there and smiles at us. He never cries. He never fusses. He quietly and politely sits on our wall with a nice frame around him. What a wonderful son he is!

3. I dream about him all the time now. It's about 2 or 3 times a week. Last night, I had another dream but it was very fuzzy. All I remember was that rather than speaking English this time, he was fluently doing sign language. Not just baby signs, but full blown sign language. Once again, I was able to translate it flawlessly. (Just how many languages can I speak in my dreams?)

And then there were only 50

50 DAYS!!!!

Jake had a Breakthrough

The world is such a scary place. There are some things in life that you hope your kids never figure out on their own. As a parent, situations like these become very difficult.

We ask ourselves, "Do we warn our children about the world around them, thus exposing them earlier than necessary? OR do we keep silent and hope they never run across the horrors that threaten them?"

Today, Jake figured out something that we were really hoping to avoid. I'm afraid that life as we know may never be the same again.

See below:

He speaks English?

I had another wonderful visit from Zac last night. (A dream, that is...)

We were in Russia for what must have been our second trip. In addition to Katie and I, my mother-in-law (Nannie, as we call her) was there with us. Katie and Nannie were off doing something else while I was holding and talking to Zac. At this point, I should have known it was a dream because there is NO WAY that Katie and Nannie would have been "off doing something else".

Anyway, I began to talk to Zac in Russian. Counting to three.

I held up one finger and said: "AH-din"

And he repeted me! "AH-din" he said.

Then I said it in English. "Now say, One"

"One" he said, in a cute little gurgly voice that really didn't sound like his real voice.

Then I held two fingers. "Dva"

And he said "Dva"

"Two!" I said. "Two!" he repeted.

Wow! This kid is really figuring it out!

Then I moved on to three fingers.

"Tdee" I said. "Tdee" he said, with no problems.

Then I said, "Three..... ttttthhhhhhrrrrreeee" Trying to emphasis the TH sound.

At this point, he looked right at me and said. "It really doesn't matter".

"Woah." I thought. "This must be dream."

And it was. Darn it.

Cold Day

One of the many ways I hold little Pasha in my heart is via my cell phone. Not only do I have the current Omaha weather programed into my phone but I also have Novokuznetsk weather. It's fun for me to glance down at my phone and see what his day is like as I go through my own day.

Today, I looked at my phone and I noticed that it is currently -27 F. (Yes, that would be a negative sign in front of the number)

Yesterday's HIGH was -17F. (Yes, that would be the high)

Man, that is seriously COLD. (Even for a tough Nebraska boy like myself... )

(where would I be without parentheses?)

Doing something

Well, today we went to Lincoln to update our fingerprints. (For those who are counting, I believe this was the 6th time we've done prints) This one was to update our homestudy. Just like many who have gone before us, we're having to update our homestudy b/c it's been a year since we've started everything. A homestudy is only good for 1 year.

But believe it or not, I was very happy to do fingerprints today. We've been waiting for SO LONG and doing absolutely nothing, that it was very exciting to be doing SOMETHING today. With a mere 56 days left, we're starting to think about getting a courtdate again. We actually have a handful of paperwork things to get organized in the next two months. Did I say 2 months? Why, yes I did.

Very exciting stuff!