Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Mixed emotions

It is with a heavy heart that we must tell you all that Molly's referral has not worked out. Currently, we are choosing to keep the details private. What we can tell you is that we are still pursuing our adoption and Zac and couldn't be more excited about him. He is a super-darling, super-cute boy and we are eager to get him home to our family.

Obviously, this is a big change in the last 24 hours. Additionally, this has been a very painful decision. I know you all will have questions when we get back, but the truth is that we may need alittle space. Well.... I don't know. I don't want to scare everyone off either. Most of you know Katie and I well enough to know that we are very open people who love to share their emotions. But, this one will be hard to talk about.

But here's the thing: We do a ton to talk about. ZAC!!! We really want to focus on the positives during this time. We are adopting a wonderful boy right now and his story will continue to be the fun and wonderful story that we've built thus far.

Also, I want to clarify that we have chosen to just adopt 1 for now. Again, this is a big change but Katie and I feel very confident about our decision.

I will share a ton more when we get back. We have amazing photos that I can't wait to post here.

We leave tomorrow morning and won't get back until late Wednesday night. Therefore, this blog will be dark for a few days.

I know that my posts fail to convey the entire adventure that we've had this week. My fatigue and emotion seem to tax my ability to accurately reflect our experience. Believe me, it's been an adventure.... a very very good adventure. My son is one step closer to coming home.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ryan and Katie, We love you so much and know that this is not a decision you would have taken without prayer, honesty, and thinking of the best interest of your entire family. It is a mixed emotional time right now, but we can't wait to meet Zac and I know I'm not alone in saying that Molly now has an army of prayer that will be with her for her whole life...where ever she may be. I know God has a plan for her as much as He has a plan for all of us. We can't wait to see you very soon....we love you all so much!!

Jenni

Anonymous said...

R and K -- Wow have you two been through a physical and emotional gauntlet!! We admire both your courage and perserverance through this experience. We are delighted with ZAC! Jake and I are practicing playing catch so we can get Zac up to speed as fast as possible!. I hope Hallie doesn't want to dress him up as her "baby" at least for 24 hours. Can't wait to see you!!
the Kearney blogger

Unknown said...

We love you lots and can't wait to see the newest addition to the family...Zac!!

Deb said...

I am praying for you both. Stepping away from a referral (I can only imagine) is very hard. I've seen people do it and it hurts.
But I'm sure you have made the right decision for your family. And that's the important thing to focus on.
Take your time to heal and rest from this trip.

Anonymous said...

We know you made a hard decision, but you have to make what you know to be the best one for your whole entire family. And as Jenni said, Molly will always have people who wonder about her, care about her, and pray for her because of this. Focus on that, and let your prayers for her bless her little life, even if your home wasn't able to bless her.

It's super hard to leave one child in one country, and return home to two in the next--a very hard splitting of your feelings and desires. Been there, done that.

Hang in there. It's going to be better when you get all your children back in one place together!

happymom4

A Room to Grow said...

wow, this must be tough but i'm sure you made the best decision for your family. that is the most important thing right now.

Anonymous said...

Hi guys! I worked today and just now have an opportunity to talk to you. You have been through an emotional experience that I cannot even imagine. You have SO made the right decision. It is rough, I know that, but you are bringing one little sweetheart to a Christian life of amazing love and opportunity. You now have 3 precious children and are giving them the best home in the world. Molly will stay with her Russian family that knows her needs so very well. God's plan is perfect. Never forget that. Love, Grammy

yorkiemom said...

That is a tough decision, but it sounds like you made the right decision for your family.

Our thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

Ryan & Katie, You have such big hearts and our family is so blessed to have you in our lives. We look forward to meeting Zac soon and watching him grow up in a warm loving home. We support you!